Smear Fear...

I am 25; a month or so before my 25th Birthday I received a letter. No, it wasn't my Hogwarts acceptance letter (much to my dismay)...it was a letter to "invite" me to have my first cervical screening. Yes, the post you're about to read is all about my first smear test #yourewelcome

Firstly, I just want to say how important cervix screening is, so if you've had your letter and haven't done anything about it - blady do it! Just to let you know, I didn't enjoy my experience, but that doesn't mean that I won't be going back when I'm called again! I don't want it to put you off if you haven't been. So I won't hold it against you if you stop reading here, however, if you think it will help to hear my ridiculousness, then feel free to keep on reading!

Seeing as it was my first ever one, I was pretty apprehensive. My brain can be my worst enemy; I'm really bad for over thinking things, so this was my initial thought; "oh God, I'm going to have to lay on a bed, legs akimbo with nothing protecting my modesty whilst a lady I've never met before prods my lady area with a device that would look more at home in a torture chamber". I honestly don't know what I was more worried about, the absolute nakedness of my vagina in front of a stranger or the prodding of it, by said stranger! So you've probably guessed by now that I'm fairly dramatic and I also think my pain threshold isn't that great, which probably doesn't help when recalling this story! Ok, it's time; let me walk you through my first cervical screening.

As I drove from my house to the doctors I had that horrible nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach, I kept thinking about what I was about to endure, over and over again. I was trying to tell myself to stop being so ridiculous! Then another thought came to me, a thought that had never occurred to me before; the poor nurse! Here I was worrying about a stranger seeing my foof, it didn't even cross my mind to think of the poor nurse who must have seen hundreds of strange vaginas in her time. To be honest, that helped ease some of the nerves. Surely she won't remember my foof, in a sea of other foofs?! Before I even knew it, I was in the doctors' car park. I took a deep breath, left the safety of my car, checked in and waited to be called.

After we'd gone through the "paperwork", the (very lovely) nurse led me back into the room with the bed. As she drew the curtain around me, she said that she could tell me as little or as much as I'd like. The curtain was closed all the way and I was left to take off my bottoms whilst contemplating how much I'd like to know about my impending, invasive vaginal screening. I laid on the bed, while the nurse came round and gave me a "modesty blanket", which made me feel a touch better, but as it wasn't a pair of knickers with a hole in the middle, it didn't make me feel completely relaxed. Anywho, she then lifted a device off of the table next to me and said something like "this is what we use...", I didn't let her finish before I replied "Oop, that's enough for me thank you. I'll just close my eyes". Honestly, I've already blocked what the device looked like from my mind.

I was laying on the bed, naked from the waist down (except for my modest blanket, obvi), eyes closed, fists pressed into my sockets attempting to banish my mind to a far away kingdom of rainbows and smiles. The nurse informed me that it shouldn't be too bad when it was inserted but may feel a little uncomfortable when it was opened. I was asked to put my heels together and then let my knees drop to the sides. She inserted the device and it wasn't actually that bad, it felt a bit weird but nothing out of the ordinary. It wasn't until she started to move it around trying to locate my cervix that it started to become quite uncomfortable. When she pulled it out (lol), I was like "Woohoo! I'm done!"... Apparently not! She was having trouble locating my cervix because apparently, it's quite high! She asked me to put my hands under my bum, heels together, knees dropping again and the device was back in business. The nurse asked me to cough and HALLELUJAH, my cervix was found! Finally, the swap was inserted via the device to take the cells from my cervix, I think that was the worst sensation of the lot! And then I really was done. The nurse and I exchanged a few seconds of pleasantries and then I was free! I was a grownup lady who had just had her first cervical screening and had come out unscathed!

(I wrote this the day after I'd had my cervical screening, but I wanted to make sure I had the results before I posted it. I don't know why I just felt worried about it! Good news; there was no further action required) After splurging my feelings, I think I've let all my pent up emotions out and in actual fact, it wasn't as bad as it felt at the moment! I hope you enjoyed my dramatic recollection of my first cervical screening - but don't let it stop you from having yours done! Yes, it was uncomfortable, but I don't think it was helped by my awkwardness of being naked in front of a stranger or the fact that I have a high cervix! They're very important and it's so worth it in the long run!

How I Clean My Makeup Brushes

Holllaaaa! This is how I clean my makeup brushes and you are very welcome!

x

LVL Lashes

I don't want to toot my own horn, but I have literally got the best lashes in the whole entire world (maybe). Was I born with these lashes? Technically. Are they naturally this fabulous? Technically not...

Let me explain! Since January sort of time, I'd been indulging in eyelash extensions. However, I just didn't feel like I was making an effort with my makeup when I had them, which annoyed me. So, I was talking to my friend (Pippa May Beauty), and she told me about LVL Lashes. I had a little look into it and then decided I wanted to give them a go!

What are LVL Lashes?

If you've never heard of LVL lashes (LVL Enhance, technically) before, let me (try to) explain! LVL stands for Length, Volume, and Lift. It's basically a modern perm for your lashes which is safer too! The treatment straightens the lash at the root, rather than curling it, which creates the illusion of longer, thicker lashes. It's a more natural alternative to eyelash extensions, plus you don't need to apply mascara (although you can if you like) and the treatment lasts for up to 6 weeks! It takes roughly 45 minutes to do, which if I'm honest is my least favourite part - I'm really bad at laying on my back for any extended period of time (lol)... It just makes me headachey, ok?! The great thing is that as Pippa is my friend, she knows about my weirdness and tries to assist in any way she can! You will also need a patch test for all of the products used throughout the treatment, 48 hours prior to having it done!

The Treatment

Firstly the beautician will decide what size shield (the shield is what they use to straighten your lash) will achieve your desired look. A smaller shield will give you a more dramatic look, whereas a large shield would give a more natural look. They will then tape your bottom lashes down, which can be a little uncomfortable if you're not used to it, also, it's not good if you get claustrophobic! Before the shield is added, the beautician will make sure the eye is cleansed and make-up free. Next, they use a bonding gel on the lid which will stick the desired shield to the lid, the lashes will then be straightened by pulling them straight on the shield. 

Step 1: Lifting Balm - The balm is applied to the base of the lashes. It breaks down the bond of the lashes to enable them to be restructured into a new shape. This is usually left on for 10-12 minutes, depending on the lashes. 

Step 2: Volumising Fix - This is applied in the same place as the lifting balm; it repairs the broken sulphide bonds to fix and secure natural lashes. The Volumising Fiz is left on for half the time of Step 1.

Step 2a: Lash Tint - This is when the tint will be added, usually in black, to darken the lashes and give the effect of mascara. This is applied to the whole of the lash and left for around 3-5 minutes. 

Step 3: Moisturising Serum - The serum is applied to the entire lash and has a dual purpose; firstly, and perhaps quite obviously, it nourishes the lashes with natural oils and essential moisture but it also helps to remove any remaining bonding or tint residue. It's at this point that the shield will be removed. 

The beautician will them comb through your lashes and gently remove the tape which was holding down the bottom lashes; this can cause discomfort and make your eyes water a little! The beautician will then ask you to open your eyes and look up, again your eyes may water, but it's quite normal! (They may also sting, again quite normal, as long as it's not for an extended period of time! If this is the case, your need to rinse your eyes with water). Then, they'll comb through them one last time once your eyes are open and ba da bing, ba da boom YOU JUST GOT LVLS! 

Does it Hurt?

You have to have a patch test done 24 hours prior to having the treatment I had absolutely no adverse reaction to the chemicals/products used. The treatment itself doesn't really hurt at all! I won't lie, there were a few times my eyes felt a bit funny, but I just said to Pippa, my eyes are feeling a bit *insert how they were feeling*, but each time she said that was quite normal! 

Aftercare

Your beautician should run through this with you, but I will mention it quickly in case you feel the need to know before you have them done! 

For the first two days, you should avoid heat, e.g. steam rooms, saunas, etc. For the first 24 hours, you can't get them wet (think Legally Blonde, final trial scene...), wear mascara or use any products on them (e.g. face creams, cleansers, soaps etc). Pippa also told me to be careful when I sleep, because if you sleep on your front, they may get stuck in a very unfortunate way! Finally, you can't use eyelash curlers on them, at all! 

My Thoughts

Once I had my lashes done, I literally felt like the most fluttery lash lady there ever was. Honestly, 10/10 for me - I'm so happy I had them done! I think personally, I would now always opt for LVL over lash extensions; they're just so much more natural and you have far less upkeep with the LVL. If you're near the Peterborough area and want LVLs, then try my friend Pippa, she's amazing!

I hope this was of some help, if it wasn't and you made it to the end anyway - I applaud you! 

Weekday vs Weekend Hair & Face!

Behold! I decided to do a little Weekday vs Weekend hair and makeup look; have a wee peek if you fancy! x

Make Me Thin...

I know, I'm awful; I've not been posting very regularly and I'm trying my hardest to create a schedule that works for me... do you care? Probably not, but now I've told you, so #yourewelcome...

Anyway, I had to hop on my computer today and type something up because I may have just found the key to potentially getting rid of my weight, for good!

For the majority of my life, I have been aware of food, and diets. I think I was about 11 when my Nan told me I was "fat, always had been and always will be". Let me tell you, at 11, sure I was "rotund" (lol), but I was not fat. However, after that comment, food seemed to become something that I was constantly aware of, forever trying to avoid, but "failing" and then sneaking food when no one was looking. Throw in an ex-boyfriend, who always made me feel quite worthless and unattractive (trust me, that's a whole other story), plus the comfort eating when the relationshit ended and you've reached current Katie. To this day, I still do what I did years ago, I go on ridiculous diets, I fail, I feel like I have to hide that I'm eating and then repeat; I'm constantly aware of other people around me and what they must be thinking about this fat girl, who's eating food that she really shouldn't be.

When I say I've tried the majority of diets, I mean it. I've done Cambridge, Slimming World, Weight Watchers, counting calories, just eating fruit, trying to eat nothing and each time I've put on the weight plus more, back on. It's fair to say I had reached the end of my tether with it all; I was convinced that the only way I'd be able to lose weight, would be to have a gastric band. Failing that, I was getting used to the idea that I'd just be big (and miserable) forever. I've tried to be happy about it, tried to convince myself that I'm meant to be bigger. I follow so many plus sized girls on Instagram and I see how happy they are and I wish I could feel that way, but I just don't. I don't feel attractive, I can't look in floor length mirrors, I avoid anything that's reflective and I HATE photos of me being taken that I'm not prepared for. You'd think that all of that would be enough to push me to do anything to shift the weight, but I've entered into this vicious cycle which is proving very difficult to break from.

A week or so ago I was online, Daily Mail (lol), and I came across an article about Paul McKenna's book, I Can Make You Thin. I don't know why I ordered it because I didn't really pay much attention to the article. But that night I went on to Amazon and put it in my basket, I can't really remember thinking much about it except, at this stage, I'll try anything! I started reading the book last night, and I had to keep reading it. Everything I was reading I could relate to, everything in that (magical, wonderful) book started to make sense and a little seed of hope was planted, perhaps there is a way to lose weight without having to go on these crazy diets.

So today, all I've been trying to do is notice when I'm actually hungry, which is more difficult than I thought it would be. And, I've been stopping in between every mouthful, putting my fork down, or putting the actual food down, instead of eating it within 20 seconds and wondering where it's gone! It took me half a blinking hour to eat my lunch today, it's never, ever taken me that long before! Usually, I bring a bag of food into work and I'll have eaten it ALL before 11:30am and I'm looking for something else. Today, however, I've eaten whatever I wanted, crisps and chocolate, and for the first time in I don't know how long, I can honestly say I've enjoyed every blady mouthful! Plus, I've actually still got food left in my lunch bag! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

Ok, so yes, it's only been a day, and I know it's crazy to feel so excited and like this is the start of something AMAZING. But I can't remember the last time I felt this excited to potentially lose weight! I'm hoping that this could be what I've been looking for, which sounds insane! If it is, you can guarantee I'll be keeping you updated! How crazy would it be if this time next year, I'm exactly where I want to be! (I've set an alarm on my phone for a years time...WISH ME LUCK)

If you managed to get to the end - thank ya! I know it's a bit all over the place, but I'm just so excited that I needed to share everywhere!

Unboxing Haul!

I got paid, I bought some stuff, I'm broke but SO very happy. I love watching unboxing videos, so I decided I'd give it a go on my channel. 

Enjoy! x

First Impressions: Drugstore Face

Yesterday I decided to pop into Boots; I'm having a real foundation dilemma at the moment. If you didn't catch my previous blog post, I mentioned that I'd ordered loads of stuff online, but the majority I ordered was in the wrong shade! Although I loved the little mix I had going on (Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk and Illamasqua Skin Base foundation) I was getting SO bored of having to mix it before I could apply it.

I very rarely buy foundations from high street type places, I'm not a makeup snob, I promise! A few years ago I had an allergic reaction on my face and the high street brands seemed to make me a bit rashy so I ended up going towards the higher end (budget allowing) brands. However, I feel like me and my face has got to know each other a lot better. I know what type of things I shouldn't slap on and I feel like my skin appreciates that... Because of our new understanding, I decided I'd dip my toe back in the drugstore pond!

To be honest, I was only looking for a foundation, but like all of the other makeup addicts out there, I walked out with a couple of items more... I've used them all this morning so I thought I'd do a first impressions post and let you know how I've found them all, so far!

Foundation

I always used to use the Rimmel Match Perfect foundation, so I was fairly certain that Rimmel was a safe brand for my little chops! I spotted the Lasting Finish Foundation; I saw on the bottle that it promised 25-hour wear and full coverage - the two main things on my foundation checklist! Look, I know it's only been one day but I think it might be love, I'm SO happy I bought it! I feel like it has the same consistency as the Estee Lauder Double Wear (a previous favourite of mine) but for a fraction of the price! It's definitely what I'd class as full coverage, it covered the majority of my blemishes, however, I did have to go over the top with some concealer in places. I've had it on for about 12 hours and it's looking ok, I mean you can definitely still see it. Admittedly I'd probably top it up if I was going out again in the evening, but I think that would be the same with the majority of foundations I've tried! First impression rating: 8/10

Rimmel Lasting Finish Foundation - £7.99

Concealer 

It took me the longest time ever to find a concealer I wanted to try and I wasn't even looking for one to begin with! I was quite happy with my NakSkiWeComCo (see my previous blog post for the explanation...). But for some reason, I was determined to leave with another concealer. I think it was because I felt like my Naked one wasn't light enough, or maybe it was because I'VE GOT A TERRIBLE ADDICTION? Anyway, whatever the reason, I walked away with the Maybelline Instant Anti-Age The Eraser Eye; I thought I'd heard Alix from ICovetThee mention it in a video, I'm not 100% sure, but I thought I'd give it a try anyway. I'd say it's more medium coverage but definitely buildable. I like the formula as I think it feels really light on the skin which is nice for under the eye plus, it didn't sink into any of my little lines under my eye. It's light enough to be brightening, and I love the applicator, so it's ticking all the boxes for me! First Impression Rating: 7/10 

Maybelline Instant Anti-Age The Eraser Eye - £7.99

Contour

Finally, I was in desperate need for a contour kit, well desperate in first world terms... I'm still not sure if I've found the perfect one! I opted for the NYX Cream Highlight and Contour Palette; it was relatively inexpensive compared to bigger branded ones and I liked the colour of the contour shade. It's a fairly neutral brown; the formula is ok, it almost feels powdery on the skin which isn't a bad thing, but I prefer a more creamy consistency. It doesn't seem to be highly pigmented which I suppose could work if you're happy to build on it. Ah, I don't know, it just hasn't won me over yet, but I'm willing to give it another try! First Impression Rating: 5/10

NYX Cream Contour Palette - £12.00

Honourable Mention...

I also picked up some Ardell Demi Wispies and I just had to mention them! I've had them before and they are my PERFECT eyelashes. The actual lashes vary in length to give a more natural, day appropriate look but they're still full enough to wear with a dramatic eye for a night out, well they are in my opinion anyway!

Overall, I'm pretty happy with my little spend up! Unfortunately, it just strengthens my argument that I am indeed a Makeup Junkie *sigh*...

Ardell Natural Lashes Demi Wispies - £4.94